Twitter Reacts to Scotland’s Hilariously Horrific Defeat to Lowly Kazakhstan

?Twitter erupted in a chorus of mocking tones as Scotland slumped to a hilariously humiliating defeat against lowly Kazakhstan. 

The Scots, who are 40th in the FIFA World Rankings, were ultimately beaten 3-0 by the team 77 places below them in their first clash of UEFA European Qualifying Group I, in what was, by that metric, their second easiest game of the lot, behind perennial rear-bringer-uppers San Marino.

The inciting incident for this collapse could be traced back as far as you like, but the most recent harbinger seemed to be the enforced no-show of ?Liverpool talisman Andy Robertson…due to a dental emergency. Essentially, it was already hilarious before kick off. 

Before we head right into the lions den of this shambolic showing, let’s provide some context as to the relative quality of their opponents. Sure, we know they’re ranked 117th in the world, but what does that mean. Well, this:

Now, that doesn’t scream prestige. But then neither do the names Yuriy Pertsukh and Yan Vorogovskiy, but Alex McLeish’s side still found it within themselves to make them look like world-beaters within the first ten minutes. 

It was the former who opened the scoring inside three minutes, with a rifled shot into the net. And, seven minutes later, Vorogovskiy had stretched his foot out to meet a David Silva-esque pass (at least according to Gordon Strachan in the Sky Sports studio), sneaking the ball past Scott Bain to extend the lead. 

Cue a crisis, and lots and lots and lots of ‘Borat‘ jokes:

But those heady days of being just 2-0 down didn’t last for long. No, no, no. No sooner had the Scottish lads trotted out to the pitch for the second period had Baktiyar Zaynutdinov risen highest to meet a (presumably Kevin De Bruyne-esque) cross to make it three. T H R E E.

Now, make no mistake, there are few international fan bases more accustomed to depressing losses than the Tartan Army, but even this felt like a new low. 



So, what now for this tattered Army of Tartan? Well a drastic stitch up job, with just a two-day turnaround on the cards before they visit San Marino on Sunday in another heavyweight clash, where we’ll see whether that beer has been replaced with a fresh, more embarrassing one. 

So, who’s the San Marino Borat?


Eden Hazard Admits Zinedine Zidane Is His ‘Idol’ as Belgian Hints at Move to Real Madrid Again

?The prolonged saga linking Eden Hazard with a move to Real Madrid in the summer has another chapter, after the Belgian spoke about his admiration for Los Blancos’ boss Zinedine Zidane, admitting the Frenchman is the reason he started playing football.

Hazard is out of contract next summer, and speculation linking him with a move to the Spanish capital has been rife throughout the season so far, particularly following Chelsea’s recent dip in form and Real’s change in management. 


Although the player has kept his cards close to his chest over a potential move, frequently ?reiterating a desire to focus on his immediate future in London, he admitted to his admiration for the returning ?Real boss in a recent interview with Belgian broadcaster RTBF, via AS.

Currently on international duty, when asked who he’d prefer to work with out of Zidane and Belgium boss Roberto Martinez, he said: “As a player there’s no comparison, I have so much respect for Zidane, he’s my idol. It’s thanks to him I started playing. 

“But for the victories we’ve achieved with Martínez I’d go with Martínez.”

Zinedine Zidane

Back in February, the ?Chelsea forward told journalists that ?he had already made a decision on his future, while a ?report last week claimed Real Madrid will open the bidding this summer at £70m.

Despite their disappointing season, Chelsea remain in contention for Champions League qualification and have their sights set on Europa League glory. Off the pitch however, it has been a difficult year so far, with the club slapped with a ?two-window transfer ban.


Juventus’ Emre Can Sets Sights on Germany Captaincy Despite Recent Snub

Juventus midfielder Emre Can has revealed his ambitions of captaining the German national team, despite missing out on a call-up for March’s international fixtures.

The 25-year-old has impressed in Italy since leaving Liverpool following the expiration of his Anfield contract, but Joachim Low chose not to select Can for this month’s Euro 2020 qualifier against the Netherlands.

Emre Can

In an interview with ?Sport Bild, Can explained: ?“I do not want to comment on the missed call. It’s up to others to do it. The fact is, however, that my services abroad are evaluated differently than in Germany. My goal remains to be the national team’s leader and to be a team leader.”

?Can has 21 caps for his country but only featured once for Germany in the whole of 2018, missing out on Die Mannschaft’s shock group stage exit from the World Cup in Russia, and the versatile midfielder has expressed his disappointment at the lack of interest shown in him by the German coaching staff.

“I played the Champions League final, which is why I hoped [to be selected]. Previously, however, I had been unavailable for two months, so the decision must be accepted. However I was disappointed that none of the technical staff called me to ask how I was. Only the doctors of the DFB have inquired.”

The former ?Liverpool man has made 28 appearances for ?Juventus this season, including the full 90 minutes of I Bianconeri’s impressive comeback against ?Atletico Madrid in the Champions League last 16, which Can also discussed in the interview.

“At the end of the game in the locker room there was pure emotion, as I had rarely experienced it. From the outside it is difficult to understand how much pressure we had after the first leg. Between the two matches, tension was felt for the city.”

Can expressed his and his club’s desire to go one step further than he could with Liverpool last season and win the Champions League trophy this season: “We wanted to send a signal to the world, we wanted to let everyone know we’re still there. We want to win the title.”

At the quarter final stage, Can and Juventus will face Dutch side Ajax, who miraculously eliminated holders ?Real Madrid with a 4-1 win at the Santiago Bernabeu.


Jordan Henderson Claims He Has ‘Even More Motivation’ to Win Trophies With Liverpool

?Liverpool captain Jordan Henderson has revealed that past failure in his career has given him ‘even more motivation’ to win trophies in his career, as the Reds chase down Premier League and Champions League success.

Since joining Liverpool from Sunderland in 2011, the English midfielder has amassed 310 appearances and scored 30 goals in all competitions, becoming the Reds’ captain in 2015 after Steven Gerrard left the club.

Speaking to The Telegraph, Henderson opened up about his near misses and how determined he is to go one step further in his career and win silverware.


“It gives you even more motivation to then keep going, keep wanting to be in that position again to make it right, and go that final step, really,” he said. “It’s definitely an extra motivation that I use. Maybe I had a little taste of it playing in finals but I haven’t really managed to win the big trophies, and that’s the next step.

“You always want to go on, you always want to go on and win. It’s so disappointing that we haven’t done that. And that gives you that bit more to want to get back there and want to put it right.

Mohamed Salah,Jordan Henderson

“But when you play for Liverpool there’s always pressure, pressure to perform, expectation. Of course, that’s the reason why you want to go there. We’ve put ourselves in a great position to compete. And now it’s down to us to just keep going.”

When discussing his own place in the team, ?Henderson added: “I have always wanted to fight no matter what position I am in, and whether that is Liverpool or England, I need to do more and I need to do better because you have younger players, or players get signed for the club who push you and want to take your place and you have to be better them.”

This season remains promising for Henderson despite ?Liverpool’s lead at the top of the Premier League being cut by Manchester City. Under Jurgen Klopp, the Reds are two points clear at the top of the table, but City have a game in hand as the season heads into its final stages. 

The midfielder has also reached the quarter finals of the ?Champions League with Liverpool and will look forward to a favourable tie against Porto as they look to add to their five European titles.


Joleon Lescott Claims No Liverpool Players Would Get into Pep Guardiola’s Manchester City Side

?Former Manchester City defender Joleon Lescott has said that none of the current Liverpool players would get into the City side at present, as the two sides go head to head for the title the Premier League. 

The Reds have a narrow advantage as things stand, with two points separating them from City in second, but Pep Guardiola’s side remain slight favourites to win the trophy owing to their game in hand and perceived greater strength in depth. 

Sergio Aguero,Josep Guardiola,Gabriel Jesus

And Lescott, who lifted the ?Premier League title twice with ?City between 2009 and 2014, believes that such is the strength of Guardiola’s squad, that he wouldn’t take a single ?Liverpool player in it.

He told ? “Both Guardiola and Klopp will each be happy with their own team and their players suit their styles of football. 

Josep Guardiola,Jurgen Klopp

“I’m not sure I’d take a single one of Liverpool’s players for Man City’s team, but it’s fair to say both have put together great squads.

“From a Man City perspective, I have been very impressed with Laporte this season, who has arguably made a similar impact to what Van Dijk has at Liverpool.”

Such is Lescott’s confidence in City, in fact, that he added that he believes they are capable of going on and claiming an unprecedented quadruple of major trophies.

Joleon Lescott,Michael Turner

He added: “Man City are the only team that are capable of winning the quadruple and they would have to be regarded as the best team that has ever been assembled should they go on to do that. 

“Guardiola will be looking to retain the Premier League again this year, but he is an ambitious man and that is being reflected in the direction Man City are heading this season.”